"It's Wrong to tell your Kids that they can Achieve Anything they Set out to do?"

[the_bob_delusion]

Discuss

[davewil1964]

Delusions of grandeur?

[chameleon54]

Its probably not healthy to tell our kids they can achieve anything they set out to do, because while we can often achieve more than we imagine possible, there will always be outside influences or unbreakable systems of collusion, nepotism and privilege for a few that prevent other worthy aspirants from achieving their dreams.

I prefer to encourage my kids to do their best at anything they try and feel a sense of achievement from that. Happiness comes from contentment, rather than being better or achieving more than everyone else. Its hard to be content when you are always striving for more more more.

[not_for_sale2025]

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@the_bob_delusion wrote:

Discuss

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Why would you take the position that it's wrong, rather than it's right? At face value it's a positive thing to say that to a child. But you think it's wrong. Why?

[bidicus*maximus]

When my nephews were young, they both announced that they wanted to be NASCAR drivers at a family function.  That brought a laugh from me as there are very few of those.  My sister, their mother, was very offended and shrieked, "My boys can be anything that they want to be".  Of course the boys, now grown are neither one NASCAR drivers, but both do work in the automotive industry.

If you are a janitor, do your work with pride and be the best that you are able.  Next time that a supervisor of janitors is required, you may be the one selected.  So many just go through the motions and do a little as they can to get by.  Being the best at what you do is also excellent job security... if it comes to cutbacks, the slacker will be more likely go than you. There is nothing wrong with honest work in any form.

[chameleon54]

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@bidicus*maximus wrote:

When my nephews were young, they both announced that they wanted to be NASCAR drivers at a family function.  That brought a laugh from me as there are very few of those.  My sister, their mother, was very offended and shrieked, "My boys can be anything that they want to be".  Of course the boys, now grown are neither one NASCAR drivers, but both do work in the automotive industry.

If you are a janitor, do your work with pride and be the best that you are able.  Next time that a supervisor of janitors is required, you may be the one selected.  So many just go through the motions and do a little as they can to get by.  Being the best at what you do is also excellent job security... if it comes to cutbacks, the slacker will be more likely go than you. There is nothing wrong with honest work in any form.

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Exactly the principle I,ve always worked on and the really surprising thing ..........there are so many people working half a$$ed that often it doesn't seem to take much to be the best in your field.

Not p!$$ing in my own pocket here, ( never mentioned most of this before, not bragging ) but just to illustrate the point.....When we owned the garden nursery and landscaping business we provided grounds care for the local school. The first year we did it the school won a KESAB award for most improved grounds in the state. Next year it won the outright award for best in state.

With our farming, we won a holiday staying two weeks in the Hilton in Singapore for producing the highest quality in Australia of one particular commodity. ( cant tell you what it was or I would identify myself ...  The controlling body only ever handed out one award )

On two of the last three occasions we have sold wool, we have received a certificate in the mail for topping the market Australia wide price wise for wool in our category. While I,m always trying to do my best, I don't think my efforts are that unusual, so an awful lot of others must be only going half paced out there.

[springyzone]

I think children need better guidance than that sort of stock standard, meaningless saying.

I think adults who tell kids that they can achieve anything they set out to are well meaning but misguided.

Nobody can 'achieve' everything they want in life. It just isn't possible. What if every child in eg Year 12, aspired to become prime minsister. Could they all make it? Even at the rate of our revolving ministers, no.

A better approach is to tell kids the truth-that we are all different and what will suit one person won't suit another & as chameleon said, aim to do a good job in whatever field you take up. And if you do have particular ambitions, don't be too deflated if you can't achieve what you initially thought you wanted, because usually you can move sideways into related areas that may even suit you better.

For example, if you have your heart set on being a doctor and don't make it, what about nursing, or would you be interested in working in pathology etc or as the father of one of my students did, he worked on making prosthetics for disabled people.

And as in my first example, not everyone can be PM but there are different levels of politics, right down to the local council and plenty of chances for people to work in related fields. Sometimes we have to broaden our horizons because there is usually more than one pathway to follow our interests.