Jokes

[kengillard]

They're boasting about race recordsSome race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast...

[bjackson0000]

What goes under the water, over the water and through the water, but never touches the water? 

[peteepie]

light?

[twyngwyn]

a submariner?

[twyngwyn]

  A SENIOR'S PERSPECTIVE OF FACEBOOK....AIN'T IT THE TRUTH?

For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom. I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them. And it works, just like Facebook. I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.

[bjackson0000]

Light I'm not sure and submariner yes..

But the answer I was looking for is...an egg in a duck's belly. 

[transport-posters]

Why was number 10 scared?  Because 7 8 9.

[bjackson0000]

Actually, why did the chicken cross the road?

[peteepie]

got a dog from my blacksmith today.  first thing he did was make a bolt for the door.

[peteepie]

My neighbour knocked on my door at three o'clock this morning.

The nerve!

Lucky I was playing my bagpipes at the time.

[twyngwyn]

When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. 

Russia used a pencil.