Take Care Good People

[clubesquire]

It’s gets sillier from here for us. It’ll be like Grand Central from tonight on. The joys of a large extended family 😃.

It’s time. 2018 was important for us, especually with online selling, and like everyone we made  those few mistakes and got ourselves into the odd bit of strife, but nothing too dramatic - just stressful at this end, because I’m an eternal ‘fretter.’

It could have been much, much worse, but for these forums, the people in them (some very special people), and the occasional PM from some who could see us perhaps heading down the low road. I did get cut off at the pass a couple of times thankfully, and thank you!

So, it’s with lots of respect and some lovely warm feelings of having been well cared for by ‘Good People’  that I now wish you all a happy, noisy and fun filled Xmas with those close to you and good friends. Play up like Holy Harry - enjoy! I also hope not too many of you are out on our roads. If so, please be extra cautious - there is no rush.

Thanks Good People 😊. Have a bonza time over the festive season, and be kind to each other 👍.

Melina, Barry, Giorgio.

[chameleon54]

What a miserable sod............Sounds like the police are not doing there job properly. Do you need the report for insurance purposes ?

If it helps to keep some perspective, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer a week before christmas. Three days of tests all showed it had not spread................until the last test result came back a couple of days before Christmas.

Surgery is booked for late January and then possibly months of chemo. After that ???    Ho Ho Ho

[digital*ghost]

Thank you lm, 🙂

Sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis, chameleon - all the best for as smooth a surgey as possible, and a speedy recovery. 

Sorry to hear about your less than stellar Christmas as well, designers - people can be selfish jerks. 

I actually nearly bought someone a dashcam for Christmas, might get one anyway and call it a bonus. 

[imastawka]

I've learned the best tactic for accidents, is to get out of the car with your phone.

Take pics of everything (incl rego and the driver, so they can't say it wasn't them)

and then exchange details.

Sorry to hear about your wife Chameleon.  Hope she has a quick recovery.

[melinachristina]

Sorry Designers, that you’ve had to deal with that right on Xmas...not nice and I wish you well.

Chameleon, God what do people say to news like this? I don’t know you personally, but I’m touched by it. I wish your dear wife a good outcome. I wish you both well from the bottom of my heart.

Onwards and upwards for you both 😊

Melina.

[countessalmirena]

Chameleon, I gave kudos to your post in lieu of there being a virtual hug or look of sympathetic concern. How horrible for both you and your wife, and the rest of your family – it's not easy to go through the waiting and the treatment and the further tests.

i know from other things you have posted that you are a very strong person and you'll be bearing the waiting with all of that strength as well as being the strong oak tree for your wife. Please let others also help you both with anything that they can do, and I hope and pray that this particular devil of a cancer will be defeated with the very best of outcomes.

[chameleon54]

Thankyou all for your kind thoughts. We are just taking things one day at a time at the moment. The wife is a very determined woman who has overcome the challenges of going blind in her thirties to live a full and active life and is aproaching this challenge with similar strength and ( black ) humour.

We will just have to wait until surgery is completed to have a better understanding of what the future holds. We have had many offers of help and support and are accepting these gestures when needed. It is a comfort knowing there are people there for us, when we need them.

[padi*0409]

So sorry to hear of your problems Camo and designers, I hope all turns out well for you both.

Yes designers, Karma should get the mongrel that did that................was there any CCTV around there ???

[*tippy*toes*]

I was going to send this as a PM, but thought I'd make it public in case it can help someone else too. I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. I know very well the absolute horror of hearing those words about someone you love. I do know there are others here who have tackled the same diagnosis, but I won't name them. They will come forward if they want to.

Two and a half years ago, Mr Tippy was diagnosed with throat cancer. Long story short, he had his entire voicebox removed and now breathes through a hole in his neck. As the "carer", I felt completely helpless. This had affected me too, but as it was him that went through life altering surgery, and subsequent treatment, I felt I had to stay strong and look after him. It didn't matter how bad I felt, I hadn't been through all that. It was all about him.

It took me a good 3 months to accept that I was allowed to feel too. I was allowed to be sad. I was allowed to be angry. I was allowed to say, I know you've been through this horrible thing, but I matter too. I was close to losing myself because everything revolved around his neck, his treatments, how bad he felt, how bad life is for him. I had to think of myself and take a step back and find myself again. We both needed reminding that there is still life out there and we really need to live it.

One thing that has got both of us through to this point is humour. You have to maintain your sense of humour, or you may as wll give up. There are humourous things that only others like Mr Tippy would get, but we have to laugh. I won't go into too much detail because to the uninitiated, it can be quite gross. The hole in Mr Tippy's neck acts as his nose and mouth when it comes to coughing and sneezing. When us regular people cough or sneeze, our hand might get a bit wet. When Mr Tippy coughs or sneezes, you have to duck for cover as there are high powered projectiles. 

It''s OK to make jokes about the new appearance if you both find it funny. It's OK to laugh, even when they're feeling their worst. Laughing is great therapy.

One thing I will say is, the lead up to the surgery is absolute torture. Once it's done, it's done and you move onto the next stage, but that lead up is absolutely horrible. The fear of the unknown.

So, from one "carer" to another, it's not all about them. You matter too and while it's not you having the surgery, it affects every part of your life too. It's very easy to get caught up in everything and have blinkers on. Remember to have some you time, just for you. You don't have to always be the strong one.

Good luck with everything. I'm sure it will all go well with a really great outcome.

[countessalmirena]

tippy*toes, I could not endorse your post more if I tried for a thousand years.

When someone you love is going through a health issue, the tension and strain upon you (by which I mean any one of the family who's around that person with the medical condition) is tremendous. Love shares in the terror and stress, and I know that if I could have borne the difficulties that someone close to me bore during a time that I will never forget, I would have. Chameleon, that's why I am so glad that you posted that you're accepting support and help from others. You're probably going to need help even before you need help - if that makes sense. Pre-emptive leaning to stop yourself and your beautiful wife from coming to emotional gullies and craters and teetering on the edge...

tippy^toes, my best wishes to Mr tippy, and may he be able to snort Waltzing Matilda through the hole in his neck. (And my best wishes to you because I know just how heavy some of those days will have been, especially when you felt you had to be strong for Mr tippy as well as for yourself - and for your family, and to stop friends from seeing just how bad it sometimes was, and so on.)

[chameleon54]

Tippy, Thankyou for sharing your experiences. I,m not a " huggy" sort of a guy, but I,m sending you some today. ( its OK I found a box of them when I was cleaning out the cupboards and I wasnt using them anyway. I have kept a few in case I need them myself though in the current circumstance )

Spoiler

Thats not actually true.

Spoiler

They where in the shed carefully packed away in an old trunk. I knew they where there and I was just saving them up for a special occasion !!!

Spoiler

Blokes sheds are like that.  Full of stuff we keep cos they might come in handy one day.....

I can only imagine the challenges you & hubby have had over the last couple of years and the ones ahead. The humour thing is alive and well in our house and as you say, some of the jokes are probably best not mentioned....... edit - I just typed one out, but decided it might be too much .....

Spoiler

Lets just say it involved following a farmers ute up the road with a hay bale on the back, bits of straw blowing onto our windscreen and Chemo and motor cycles......

I have read your post several times and you certianly share some good advice, some of which I had not really thought of. The wife has joined a cancer support group made up of woman with similar experiences. Some have had succesful treatment, others not as fortunate. She has spoken to a few and is attending one of their functions this week for the first time.

Tippy, My thoughts are with you and Mr. Tippy. It must be a difficult time for you both. Take care