Message received earlier today:
"Hello dear I like this product [item name] please contact me thank you have a nice day"
I have a near-irresitable urge to respond to most messages I receive, just due to being polite, which almost always results in me replying to messages I say I won't, eventually. Sometimes it's out of sheer curiosity, or because I read far to many "Snappy answers to stupid questions..." collections as a kid and something pushes my sarcasm button, so I'm basically just fishing for the confirmation that this is a message to be ignored, with the intent to distract my attention, strengthen my resolve, and quell my rising sarcasm level 
(Or, you know, feel free to quench it by suggesting your own 
).
Spoiler
Primary red flags, just in case - addressing me as "dear", and zero substance to the message, as in no questions, or reasons given why they want me to contact them. Item in question is just a $9 hand tool, BTW
