Manners do matter! - Why are some sellers so abrupt & rude in messages?

[redders_60]

This could go either on the seller or buyer board; But as I was the buyer I'll put it here.

Anyway; Fri night  I placed a bid on an item. I haven't really been on ebay since then (& have no mobile phone for the instant messaging stuff)

Today I logged in to get what I feel is a rude & abrupt message saying "Do you want this item? Pay by COB 5/6 or I will relist it" No Please; Hello; Kind regards, best wishes, have a great weekend, Thanks for your purchase, or whatever that I put in my messages to buyers.

Nothing that would entice me to buy more from this seller! - My first thought was actually 1 star for communication! I did pay as soon as I logged on to my computer mail (& then read that message on ebay & had second thoughts about the seller) Please bear in mind that this occured over this weekend & whilst I wasn't away; I was worried about my elderly Dad who was in hospital. (He's fine now!) Not everyone makes ebay their main priority on weekends!

More Importantly - Manners Do Matter! - Please when selling or buying treat the person as you would like to be treated & speak to them in messages as if you were face to face. Sometimes text messages come across as impolite; & then there is the whole thing of 4 or more days to pay by Ebay's rules! 

[redders_60]

Hello again all; A reply mostly for Fixnwear - I do get your points & wouldn't have taken a punt had I not already owned a similar / same item. It's not in my nature to be a gambler - but the blurry pics looked enough like the one I already have to take the chance on the item! It was just the seller's unnecessary & abrupt messages that got me offside!

With regards to blurry pics - I have nerve damage to my hands - (think hands that feel like wearing fuzzy gloves all the time) but I still manage to type reasonably decent descriptions of the goods I'm selling, weigh them to help calculate postage costs,  & take many more pics than necessary just to find the right ones to upload. When all else fails I ask a family member to help with my pics.

Stickytape is not my friend; But I do post ASAP after payment is recieved.

For my particular situation online selling would be great if I never had to pack parcels! But as I'm aware of my own shortcomings I always overpack on both inner & outer parcelling. It just makes me feel better to do so! Hence I get antsy when I recieve a parcel that should have had better packing for transit.

The item in question had a 3 word description BTW! Same as the title line.

[heihachi_73]

There's more people on here than you think! I despise mobile phones, especially when used as a replacement for a PC with a nice big screen and a decent sound system instead of the tinny low-quality carp that any and all phones will retain to infinity and beyond through those tiny buzzers masquerading as speakers, which teenagers seemingly can't get enough of when blasting equally garbage rap/pop/dance music. At least the kids/punks/gangs of the 80s had somewhat decent sound systems when they were hanging around malls and train stations with their their ghetto blasters turned up to 11, and that was with cassette tapes!

I have absolutely no need to have a computer with me on a bus or at KFC or while sitting on the toilet, or to broadcast to every person on the planet my personal life every second of the day (also the reason why I don't use Twitbook+). The price discrepancy between "phone internet" and "desktop internet" is enough to turn me off too. A 500 megabyte cap or a couple of gigabytes for the same price as unlimited broadband? Charging to send text messages, all of 160 bytes each, when people have typed instant messages for free since the dawn of the internet?

[springyzone]

You are right fixwear in that none of us has control over how another person writes their ad or lists an item.

And when in doubt, don't. That's also a good idea.

But I do think ebay rules and guidelines are relevant. I think a lot of the reason sellers feel ebay is heavy handed and tends to side with buyers is because of just these sorts of situations in the past. Sellers who took the money then took off, leaving buyers out of pocket. Sellers (like he of the phone ad I mentioned earlier) who thought if they didn't mention a fault and a buyer had not specifically asked, bad luck to them.

One of the worst things any company can have happen to them is to have their brand trashed. Consumers need to feel that ebay is a safe buying environment. Ebay has made it a lot better than it was years back, what with paypal, Item not as described or not received and so on.

Obviously there will always be a few sellers who do the wrong thing but ebay should do its best to weed those sellers out, hit their accounts if they are faound to be doing anything shifty.

[redders_60]

Hi Heihachi_73; I recently made a Facebook account as 2 of my adult daughters recently moved far rurally & I wanted to see occasional pics from them as I can't visit.

I'm yet to fathom how it all works; but one of my daughter's friends, her bloke, & 2 kids have friended me. They post so many times a day! From what they had for breakfast, lunch & dinner; Where they went & anything they find funny, or at least mildly interesting on internet sites! The kiddies are under age 8 & to my mind shouldn't be on the site for safety reasons. Their every waking moment is documented! (& sometimes the parents show pics of them sleeping!) Shouldn't some things be private?

I'm bombarded by their updates! Is this the way it is nowadays? Instant messages; Instant gratification & "I want it now!" ? I'm not liking F/B; But as I only access via my computer I suppose I can just delete what I don't want to see? 

Some things have # for other sites - I've no idea how those work! I'm happy to be a dinosaur on that front! I'm thinking 14 friends is a tad too many for me!

[lyndal1838]

redders, make sure you have your Facebooks setting as private as you can get.

I have an account but rarely use it as I hate the way my husbands rellies post every minute of their days on the site.  

I even found out that one of his nephews has separated from his wife per courtesy of what was (or was not) posted there.

[tazzieterror]

Redders, as lyndal has mentioned above, make full use of the security settings on FB, and try to find some recent online tutorials explaining how to do this effectively.

I've had a FB account in one form or another since 2008, but barely use it these days. As you're experiencing, some people just post everything they possibly can on there, and it gets tiring trying to keep up with it.

I've made it clear to those closest to me that I barely log into FB anymore, and not to assume that by posting something on there that I'll become aware of it.

You are correct though; this is how it is now - instant gratification and immediacy. It does have its uses though - I have a number of friends living in London, and with this week's terror attack was able to log on to FB and instantly see that they're safe and unaffected.

I think you can use some settings in FB to "tune" the frequency of posts you see from particular people, but I've had great success at filtering the barrage of information by simply not logging in! 😄

[*tippy*toes*]

I found out our grandson had been born courtesy of facebook. I rarely check my account but happened to about an hour after the birth announcement.

[redders_60]

I want to say Thank You to Springy; Lyndal; Tazzie & Tippy. For your F/B help.Thankfully my daughter who created the account set it to max privacy settings. Sadly I have a rather unique spelling to my first name & my surname is the same as my cousin's who is a well known Brit actor working in Hollywood action movies. (Still no one can correctly pronounce a rather easy surname when you watch Entertainment Tonight or its AU equivalent!) - That annoys me greatly!

Despite all the privacy settings my daughter put in I've been contacted by 3 ex boyfrriends & a couple of old school friends. Nice to catch up with them; But really not what I wanted the account for! Hence the 14 friends.

For Tippy; My youngest daughter announced the birth of my only grandchild on F/b too! I didn't have an account then! So missed out entirely! What a world!

[springyzone]

redders, my best advice would be to get into the account settings and just have a browse.

You can set your account on private but you can also set a lot of your posts on whatever settings you want.

[*tippy*toes*]

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@redders_60 wrote:

I want to say Thank You to Springy; Lyndal; Tazzie & Tippy. For your F/B help.Thankfully my daughter who created the account set it to max privacy settings. Sadly I have a rather unique spelling to my first name & my surname is the same as my cousin's who is a well known Brit actor working in Hollywood action movies. (Still no one can correctly pronounce a rather easy surname when you watch Entertainment Tonight or its AU equivalent!) - That annoys me greatly!

Despite all the privacy settings my daughter put in I've been contacted by 3 ex boyfrriends & a couple of old school friends. Nice to catch up with them; But really not what I wanted the account for! Hence the 14 friends.

For Tippy; My youngest daughter announced the birth of my only grandchild on F/b too! I didn't have an account then! So missed out entirely! What a world!

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There should be a setting so you don't show up in searches. Or, do what I do, use a fake name. No-one can find you then.