Manners do matter! - Why are some sellers so abrupt & rude in messages?

[redders_60]

This could go either on the seller or buyer board; But as I was the buyer I'll put it here.

Anyway; Fri night  I placed a bid on an item. I haven't really been on ebay since then (& have no mobile phone for the instant messaging stuff)

Today I logged in to get what I feel is a rude & abrupt message saying "Do you want this item? Pay by COB 5/6 or I will relist it" No Please; Hello; Kind regards, best wishes, have a great weekend, Thanks for your purchase, or whatever that I put in my messages to buyers.

Nothing that would entice me to buy more from this seller! - My first thought was actually 1 star for communication! I did pay as soon as I logged on to my computer mail (& then read that message on ebay & had second thoughts about the seller) Please bear in mind that this occured over this weekend & whilst I wasn't away; I was worried about my elderly Dad who was in hospital. (He's fine now!) Not everyone makes ebay their main priority on weekends!

More Importantly - Manners Do Matter! - Please when selling or buying treat the person as you would like to be treated & speak to them in messages as if you were face to face. Sometimes text messages come across as impolite; & then there is the whole thing of 4 or more days to pay by Ebay's rules! 

[lyndal1838]

This reminds me of a seller that I dealt with a very long time ago.....I won an auction but did not pay immediately as I had a string of other auctions finishing within 30 minutes (not the same seller)

As soon as they were finished I went to paypal and paid. 

When I had finished I discovered a message from the seller in My Messages....demanding contact within 24 hours and payment in 48 hours....and I do mean demanding!

I thought that payment would constitute contact, but the seller obviously didn't as I received a very abusive message when the 24 hours were up.    Among other threats she said she was going to cancel the transaction as I had not paid.

I invited her to go right ahead and in turn I would report her to ebay, firstly for the rudeness of her communication and secondly for cancelling a transaction that was paid for....and leave appropriate feedback.

She eventually sent the item (grudgingly) with the message that I was thoroughly rude as I had not bothered to contact her as she asked.  The last message was the one that earned her a negative rather than the neutral I was thinking of.

Another seller in the USA lost what could have been a very lucrative sale....I was going to bid on a number of smallish and cheapish items that were finishing within a 7 day period (she had stated she would combine postage on items won in a 7 day period)   In this case the combined postage was important as even back then the US postage was high.

I duly won the first item and messaged the seller that I would also be bidding on a number of other items before the end of the week....an order that would be as much as US$200 if I was forced to my limit.

She was very nice and just said to message her when I had finished buying.  The next auction was at day 5 (which the seller knew) so I was not very happy to have an unpaid item dispute opened on day 4. 

I paid it and sent the seller a message to the effect that I was not happy.   The excuse was that ebay opened unpaid item disputes automatically.....I knew full well that she had to opt into the automatic system and could also opt buyers out of it.  She did offer to hold the one item until I was finished and adjust the postage at the end.

Having just dealt with a couple of difficult sellers I was not in the mood so just told her to send the item and I would not be buying anything else.  She missed out on at least US$100 just because she was too lazy to turn off the automatic UPI dispute and tried to put the blame on ebay.

[zanadoo_56]

Combined postage....ah yes.

I had a seller some years ago post messages in her listings not to pay right away if buying multiple items but to wait for an invoice.  I bought a few things and duly waited.  No response...and after a few days went by I decided I'd better start messaging the seller asking for the invoice.  Then I get a message from the seller to pay up or else.  Arrgghh.

My reply was polite...BUT ALL IN CAPITALS.  I finally got the invoice but no apology of course.

[redders_60]

Hi Lyndal & all here; This type of scenario is exactly why I don't have the auto dispute feature enabled. I too combine post & like most sellers I am happy to wait for auctions to end - having the 4 day auto enabled can lead to problems & is just too impersonal for my liking!

As an aside; Like Springy & Stawks I assumed the impatient seller was male; but upon checking my PP transaction the unisex name is spelt the female way! 

I suppose I'm one of the few people who has no mobile phone; But I don't really get out much for personal reasons, negating the need for such a device. It was highly strange for me to have been sitting @ the hospital for a lot of the weekend. But my Dad had a chest infection from a cold & @ age 80 he needs family by his side as he hates hospitals. Even if I'd had a phone for messages; I couldn't have turned it on in the hospital anyway!

I'm still annoyed enough for a 1 star for comms for this seller! All I can say is their 2 negs were for INAD on similar items - So the item better be just what the scant description led me to believe!

[springyzone]

Redders, I only have a flip phone.

The one thing that annoys me with some people is they seem to think their wish for instant communication is your command.

Regardless of whether you have a phone or not, you don't owe it to anyone to have to reply immediately.

Even with our landline phone, I don't necessarily answer it if we have guests. I tell them we have messagebank, I'll check it  in a few minutes.

As for sellers who send messages about payment a day after you buy, they are just making extra work for themselves. They may be better off listing things as buy it now, immediate payment required. Save them a lot of worry and angst.

And when it comes to communication, I don't expect to contact sellers or hear from them, but I do expect sellers to mark off the stuff in the MY ebay section-eg when it is posted and so on.

[zanadoo_56]

Well that's two of us in the universe (who don't have mobile phones).

[bluebudgies]

No, there's at least three of us in the Dinosaur Club.  

[black*poppy]

I can't believe how some sellers behave, the mind boggles.

I've just had a extremely rude seller I'm dealing with on my buying account... OMG about 6 messages within 12 hours, super aggressive. I didn't pay straight away as I had a voucher and was loading up with auctions that were finishing on Sunday night, as one does.  "Not my problem" she says in the middle of her rant.  Hmmmmm.  So she relisted them, it was within 24 hours of winning them. I've paid and they are on their way......  can't wait to receive those items and dish out the well deserved negs.  No way am I going to be treated that and say nothing.  If they're not as described then even better, I will pursue that too.  Also have the satisfaction of knowing that she lost 2 of her 40 free listings cos she was impatient.

Then I'll flip them for double I paid. 😛

[fixnwear]

black *poppy,

after reading your post I am 1000000% sure you WILL find something wrong with the items - I mean, it stands to reason.

Anyone that rude and uncivil as your seller couldn't possibly sell anything decent & as described.

The best part, apart from leaving the negs (they are very therapeuthic - so they say, an instant mood alterer & uplifter) is that you may even get them for free after complaining to Ebay - so when you resell them you'll get - what?

Hopefully not double of nothing.

[chameleon54]

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@springyzone wrote:

Redders, I only have a flip phone.

The one thing that annoys me with some people is they seem to think their wish for instant communication is your command.

Regardless of whether you have a phone or not, you don't owe it to anyone to have to reply immediately.

Even with our landline phone, I don't necessarily answer it if we have guests. I tell them we have messagebank, I'll check it  in a few minutes.

As for sellers who send messages about payment a day after you buy, they are just making extra work for themselves. They may be better off listing things as buy it now, immediate payment required. Save them a lot of worry and angst.

And when it comes to communication, I don't expect to contact sellers or hear from them, but I do expect sellers to mark off the stuff in the MY ebay section-eg when it is posted and so on.

---

I,m in the flip phone club too. All four family members recieved the same type of flip phone under a telstra plan many years ago. They have all moved onto thier iphone 12,s or whatever they are, but I am slowly working my way through the flippers. When one breaks down or gets wet, I move onto the next one. It means I,ve got four chargers too.

I figure I,m fashionable as the phones are retro now......

The funny thing is the old flippers sell very well on ebay. The last one I watched made over $100.00. Seems there are a few other people who like a basic, sturdy phone that doesnt get a broken screen when you drop it on the bathroom floor.

LONG LIVE THE FLIPPERS. !!!!

[springyzone]

Hey, chameleon, mine was free with a telstra plan too! Maybe we have the same models. Mine is 2008. Still going strong.