My Mums update thread

[daydream**believer]

This thread is dedicated to my Mother and her recovery.




On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.

Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.

She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage

I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.

[the_hawk*]

Sorry, im going on. I just really need to vent.

No need to be sorry Amy its your thread and your hurt, I was just trying to help

[daydream**believer]

Im not coping very well a the moment.

I feel like im on the edge of a cliff and im about to go over.

My sister is going through a hard time at the moment and i suppose i have taken on the roll of Mum and im the person she talks and cries to.

But im nothing like Mum and my sisters problems are stressing me and keeping me awake at night. I cant tell her that. She needs me

And then of course theres my dad issues. And no, he hasnt called me yet.

Mum is on my mind continuously at the moment. I miss her so much.

Poor bub has bronchitus so neither of us are getting much sleep.

[primaryaim]

Amy, I read your thread in silent support but have not posted here however, re your dad saying he won't remember to tell your mum stuff.

Each week, why don't you type up a few of the most important things you want to share with your mum as a short letter (put it in large text so he won't have to fumble for glasses etc) and post it to your dad.

Ask him to take it and read it to her when he visits. Keep it short so he won't have an excuse to say it is too long but do it about once a week so you feel you are getting some of your information to her.

He may do that for you and then you won't feel so frustrated by your verbal interaction with him.

[daydream**believer]

thanks primaryaim, but, now, its  not so much about getting info to Mum (see post 1260)

This is about missing a parnet who cares. I need dad to care, or at least, now and then, pretend he does.

He doesnt even talk about Mum much anymore and i have to be careful if i bring her up as he says it depresses him.

All i can ask about her is "How's Mum?" and his reply is either "Shes fine" or "Shes not very well"

I dont think its too much to ask for him to listen to me talk about our weekend away, or that his grandson got an award at school, or that his grandkids got their orange belts in karate.

I listen to him talk about his bowls games or the sport on the TV, both of which i have no interest in.

[daydream**believer]

ohh and every year i make a photo dvd and send then to dad to watch with Mum.

My sister has informed me that he doesnt take them up to watch with her. he says it upsets her too much and then that upsets him.

[fiestas*girl]

dad needs a wake up call Amy

the hows of which i dont know, but just reading your posts makes me want to slap him

hard

[jynda]

Dear Amy

I only read this today and want to send you a big hug.

Stay strong lovely lady, your family would miss you as much as you miss your Mum if you fall.

Big hugs

Caz xxx

[freakiness]

My sister and I have both tried to involve him in our lives, but he wont. My sister invites him to family dinners and he doesnt go

I'm sorry to hear that Amy.

It's horrible to know things are wrong and know that you can't fix them.

[lyndal1838]

Amy, I have been following this thread since it started, but not posted for some time now.

I have been around long enough to have some experience of elderly men (my grandchildren are older than your children).

Most of them are so wrapped up in themselves they have no idea that they are hurting those they love.  They just expect things to revolve round them.

Several years after my mother died I was hospitalised for 4 days.  I had promised to go to my father's place to do some mending for him so it was necessary to let him know where I was. I got my OH to ring my eldest daughter to go and tell him (OH is not known for breaking news gently) and his response was...well, who is going to sew my buttons on?  The hospital was only 5 minutes away from his place but he could not come to visit me, even though he was still driving regularly for shopping etc.

As soon as I arrived home I rang him, only to be asked when I would be down to do his mending (I only live 2 blocks away from him but could not walk that far at the time) and I was also informed that he would not ring me but would wait for someone to tell him how I was progressing.

So yes, I do understand what you are going through. I don't know what the answer is, but it will,probably not improve much unless you can find some way of getting through to your father.  You may just have to resign yourself to the fact that he is a typical man.

[daydream**believer]

thanks for you replies.

fiesta- feel free, if you are ever around the Dubbo area, to give him a sla.

jynda- ♥ Thanks. Ive had a rough weekend and i did feel myself slipping into depression again. I had a very big cry on Sunday night. I feel a little better now.

freaky- i think thats part of my problem. My sister is really having a hard time with her kids and is venting it all to me and im getting so stressed out about it cause i cant help her or fix it for her.

lyndal- You are right.I think it is a man thing and i think they get worse with age. But does that mean i have to just put up with it? I dont know.

Anway, i hadnt called dad since Tuesday night. He rang me on Sunday night. Miss 11 answered the phone and he asked to speak to me. I couldnt talk as i was tiling our bathroom so he said to Miss 11 "Just tell her i won something on ebay".