My Mums update thread

[daydream**believer]

This thread is dedicated to my Mother and her recovery.




On Monday the 4th June 2007, while holidaying in the UK with my Father, my Mother was struck by a van while crossing the road.

Mum spent 88 days in various UK hospitals before finally being brought home back to Australia on the 30th August 2007.

She is currently in The John Whittle Nursing Facility with brain damage

I have set up this thread to keep you all updated on her condition and her improvements and hopefully one day, Mum will be able to read it.

[daydream**believer]

You will probably find that he is actually suing his own insurance, who in turn have to sue your mum but the compensation will be paid by the insurance? if that makes sense.

Shared liability? because of the circumstances of the accident.

Oh. I hope that is right

[piggylulu61]

You're not horrible Amy, just grieving still.

I know your Dad must feel his life has been destroyed but I think he's also being extremely selfish.

Don't bash youself.

[freddie*rooster]

Something I have learnt recently, you can't force people to act the way you think they should, but you can try to talk to them and try to come to a compromise. If that compromise isn't acceptable to you, you then must decide if the relationship and the beart break it causes you is worth continuing with. This is especially hard when it's family, for your own peace of mind and health, sadly it's a decision you must make.

[kokomobua]

Amy, do you know if your parents had travel insurance at the time? If so, then what Azure said is probably correct, insurance companies suing each other for payment.

[daydream**believer]

freddie- i know i have to make the decision. Dad is certainly making it an easy one though by not bothering to call me for 2 weeks. For the last 5 years i have called him 2 or 3 times a week. You would think he would of missed my calls by now.

koko- Yes they had travel insurance. Thats the only way we were able to get Mum back to Australia.

[daydream**believer]

Dad won some ebay auctions last night. So after not calling me for 2 1/2weeks he calls me and the first thing he says is

"Hi, im not very well. I have a cold. But i have won some things on ebay".

So, i tried to talk to him about how i feel and it did not go well. He got very angry and very defensive and started going off about stuff that had nothing to do with what i was trying to say.

And in the end, he hung up on me

[womblewa]

Hi Amy, I always read your thread.

At the end of the day, when this is over, it will come down to you looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking "did I do the best I could at the time"

And the answer to that is yes, anyone reading this read, over such a long time, will know that you have done the very best in this situation that anyone could, especially through pregnancy, living in another state, and having a young family.

It will also come down to your dad and your sister looking in their mirrors.  Hopefully for their own peace of mind they will get the right answer for them.  But ultimately, and however much it hurts, they might be doing the best they can (however hurtful it must be to you) to keep themselves going through this, and however delusional it seems.

I used to go to bed a night hoping/praying that mum would die in the night, for her peace and for mine - like you, I got desperate for it to end.

Keep your chin up, I am sure you have been and continue to be the daughter your mother dreamed of having when she was pregnant with you all those years ago.

[witches*wol]

(((Amy))) Yes it makes sense that the driver would sue the insurance company and not actually your Dad in person.

I guess it would be terrible for the poor man - I mean as drivers we can all imagine the horror of hitting someone.

Meanwhile honey about your dad... if my memory serves me right from things you've said before your dad was always, even before mums accident rather a self centered person.  So it is very unlikely that he will ever change.

As far as he is concerned it is all about him and his wife.

The effect mum's accident has had on you and your sister isn't even on his radar.  😞

[daydream**believer]

"The effect mum's accident has had on you and your sister isn't even on his radar. "

Thats exactly right.

On the phone, when i said "Dad, you have to realise that I am grieving as well. I lost a mother"

He yelled down the phone "WELL I LOST A WIFE"

He yelled "How dare you talk to me like this. You are a child"

I said "No dad, i am your 38 year old daughter with children. Your grandchildren. And you are pushing us all away".

He replied "I dont care. You dont know what im going through."

And i said "And you never acknowledge what I am going through. I may not be there, but that doesnt mean i am not devistated. Anyway this isnt about that. I just want you to think about us here. Me, your grandkids. Maybe call now and then to see how we are or ask what we are up to. Or listen if i try to tell you something. Instead of only calling if you need to me to pay for your ebay purchases"

That made him crazy and he said some really hurtful things and then said "If you keep talking to me like this im going to hang up"

And i said "Fine. Do that if thats what you want"

And he did

[freddie*rooster]

I have palpitations reading your post Amy, i'm sorry you are being treated so poorly, I know how it feels 😞