W'hy Can't Anyone Do Something????

[kengillard]

My neighbour needs medical help.  

[azureline**]

Perhaps he has to be identified first? or his mother has refused to have her Dr tell he son anything?

My OH (and older sister) is POA and Guardian which was put in place when dad was well. The home and his doctor are not allowed to tell the younger sister anything.

The POA's arranged for me to be the person to call etc...............as I am the one who sees him and does for him.

Privacy is a huge barrier to overcome when there is no legal path.

[cherry*135]

It was more if  the DR/staff  has any suggestions of  how to approach this situation, or any organisation the friend/family can contact. I didn't expect they would give out her medical history.

At least it makes the Dr aware of her situation, so when he does see her, he can ask the hard questions... not just accept her saying I am fine at home.

The son needs to visit his mother at  her home now.. see the situation for himself. 

[azureline**]

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@am*3 wrote:

It was more if  the DR/staff  has any suggestions of  how to approach this situation, or any organisation the friend/family can contact. I didn't expect they would give out her medical history.

At least it makes the Dr aware of her situation, so when he does see her, he can ask the hard questions... not just accept her saying I am fine at home.

The son needs to visit his mother at  her home now.. see the situation for himself. 

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Yes, exactly! unless you are on the spot it is impossible to understand the situation.

[green.fields]

Doctors will not just tell anyone anything even if you are the daughter or son. There is also only so much they can do. It's up to the hospital to try and get her an ACAT assesment and if after doing that she refuses help there is nothing anyone can do, they can not make her accept help unless they can prove she doesn't have her faculties anymore. It is like banging your head against a brick wall sometimes.

Good luck with it I feel your pain.

[cherry*135]

Even if it isn't safe for an elderly person to live in their home alone? If they are prone to falls, if their memory is getting bad and they tend to leave the stove elements on, if leave their external doors and windows open over night, if the person is a hoarder and their house is filthy etc? ( general examples there, not aimed at OP's neighbour).

[azureline**]

In my experience it is just as roserobin says.  It wasn't until I pressed my OH to act with his POA etc,  that they did anything.

He and his sister were reluctant to force the issue as their dad could still hold a conversation on the phone as if all was normal and for about 20 minutes in person.

They get quite upset if you open a door or a cupboard or fridge, as though you are invading their privacy. They can also be aggressive if pushed too hard.

[kengillard]

0f course it is..  but why me Lord?  surely there's someone else who can do something.?  I'm 75 and have just been forced to put my OH in a nursing home due to Vascular Dementia....I REALLY.  dont need this at the moment.  but no one else seems to care?

or able to  do anything.   I can't cut myself off from her seeing she has no one else.  how would you feel if you did and she was lying there for days?

However tomorrow is another day and I will endeavour to find someone who will be able to help.  thanks everyone. xxxx

[cherry*135]

Something else this neighbour could benefit from, but probably wouldn't agree to, is a monitored personal alarm.

If she fell she could push that and get help (although there has to be a neighbour or family member in the area that the security co. can call, to sned around to the persons house). So, in this case the neighbours would still be under pressure.

[buzzlightyearsgirlfriend]

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@kengillard wrote:

my/her doctor he has rung and she wouldnt' tell him anything.  can't understand that.  will ring doc tomorrow and find out why?

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Confidentiality.  

Your neighbour has to giver her permission for the GP to discuss her health or anything about her with anyone.

[azureline**]

Dad had one of those alarms. He left it on his bedside table.